Don’t Be a Pretender
Scripture
“Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.”
—Romans 12:9–13 (The Message)
Don’t be a pretender. Love from the center of who you are. That is how Paul opens this passage, and it sets the tone for everything that follows. This kind of love echoes the way God loves us, sincerely, deeply, without condition. Our love for others should not be surface-level or convenient. It should be rooted in the very center of who we are as followers of Jesus. Just as He loves us with a genuine, sacrificial love, we are called to extend that same kind of love to the people around us.
“Human love is directed to the other person for his own sake, spiritual love loves him for Christ’s sake.”¹
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together
Bonhoeffer draws the exact line Paul is drawing here. There is a kind of love that looks generous on the surface but is still, at bottom, about us, our preferences, our comfort, our sense of being a good person. And there is a love that flows from somewhere else entirely, rooted in Christ rather than in our own affection or convenience. That is the love Paul describes when he tells us to run for dear life from evil and hold on for dear life to good. Sometimes that requires distance from people or situations that are not healthy. But even then, love does not stop. Healthy boundaries and genuine love are not opposites. Our love can still be deep, sincere, and rooted in truth, even when it has to hold a line.
Love is also never passive. It expresses itself in service. Paul reminds us that Jesus did not come to be served but to serve, and we are called to follow His example, picking up the towel and going the extra mile. But none of that happens in our own strength. That is why Paul tells us not to burn out but to pray all the harder and keep ourselves fueled and aflame. We need God’s strength to love the way He is describing, because this kind of love is not sustainable on willpower alone.
Finally, Paul calls us to help those in need and to be inventive in hospitality. That means getting creative in the ways we love and serve. Opening our homes, our hands, our hearts. Not just doing what is expected but finding ways to go above and beyond, reflecting the love of Christ into a hurting world. You may not always feel like you have much to give, but when your love flows from the center of who you are, anchored in Him, it is more than enough. Your simplest acts of kindness, fueled by God’s love rather than your own, have the power to change lives.
Reflection:
- Are you loving others from the center of who you are, or just going through the motions?
- Where do you need to establish healthy boundaries while still holding on to love?
- How can you be more intentional and creative in serving others this week?
Prayer:
Ask God to fill you with His love so that you can love others sincerely and deeply. Pray for the strength to serve like Jesus and the creativity to reflect His heart through hospitality and generosity.
Footnote:
¹ Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, trans. John W. Doberstein (New York: Harper and Row, 1954).