Not My Will
Scripture:
“They went to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and Jesus said, ‘Sit here while I go and pray.’ He took Peter, James, and John with him, and he became deeply troubled and distressed. He told them, ‘My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.’
He went on a little farther and fell to the ground. He prayed that, if it were possible, the awful hour awaiting him might pass him by. ‘Abba, Father,’ he cried out, ‘everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.’
Then he returned and found the disciples asleep. He said to Peter, ‘Simon, are you asleep? Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour? Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.’
Then Jesus left them again and prayed the same prayer as before. When he returned to them again, he found them sleeping, for they couldn’t keep their eyes open. And they didn’t know what to say. When he returned to them the third time, he said, ‘Go ahead and sleep. Have your rest. But no—the time has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Up, let’s be going. Look, my betrayer is here!’”
—Mark 14:32–42 (NLT)
There is no more holy ground in all of Scripture than this. Jesus, knowing exactly what was coming, walks into the darkness of Gethsemane and falls to the ground. The betrayal, the beatings, the cross — all of it is before Him, and He is fully aware. And what we see here is not a distant, detached Savior composing Himself for what lies ahead. We see God in the flesh, face down in the dirt, crushed with grief, crying out to His Father. “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death,” He said. Just let that land. The Son of God, overwhelmed. Undone. Utterly human in His anguish.
And yet, in that same anguish, He surrendered. “Please take this cup from me,” He prayed. “Yet I want Your will to be done, not mine.” It is one of the most remarkable sentences in all of Scripture. Honesty and obedience in the same breath. He didn’t pretend it was easy. He didn’t hide His pain behind a composed religious exterior. He brought His full humanity before the Father and chose the Father’s will anyway. That is what surrender looks like. Not the absence of struggle, but the presence of trust in the middle of it.
Then there are the disciples. He asked them to keep watch and pray, and three times He returned to find them asleep. In His darkest hour, His closest friends couldn’t stay awake. But He didn’t abandon them. He didn’t walk away in disappointment and find more reliable people. He was patient with their weakness, even while carrying the weight of the world’s sin on His shoulders. And that tells us something we need to hear: Jesus is patient with the weak. He knows our humanity. He knows how heavy our eyelids get. And still, He calls us to Himself.
“It is essential to our happiness to say at all times, ‘Nevertheless, not as I will but as Thou wilt.'” — C.H. Spurgeon¹
In Gethsemane, we see the cost of our redemption beginning to unfold. We see a Savior who entered our suffering fully, who carried our sorrow willingly, and who chose the Father’s will over His own comfort so that we might be free. So let us draw near. Let us watch and pray. And may we never take lightly what it cost Him to bring us into the Kingdom.
Reflection:
- What stands out to you most about Jesus’ experience in Gethsemane?
- How does His honesty in prayer shape the way you approach God with your pain?
- Are there areas in your life where God is asking you to surrender your will to His?
Prayer:
Thank the Lord for His willingness to suffer on your behalf. Ask Him to give you a heart of surrender and the strength to remain present and prayerful, even in difficult moments. And as you bring any additional requests before Him, take on the same posture of surrender that Jesus displayed: not my will, but Yours be done.
Footnote: ¹ C.H. Spurgeon, “Unconditional Surrender,” Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit (London: Passmore & Alabaster).