The Power of Life
The tongue can bring death or life;
those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
There are “friends” who destroy each other,
but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
-Proverbs 18:21, 24 (NLT)
Solomon does not mince words. The tongue can bring death or life. Most of us have felt both sides of that truth. We can still recall, sometimes decades later, the exact moment a word landed like a wound. A parent’s offhand remark, a friend’s careless comment, a stranger’s sharp criticism. Those words found something tender and left a mark that time alone did not erase. But most of us can also recall the moment a word breathed life into us when we were running low, someone who saw something in us we had stopped seeing in ourselves, who spoke truth into a place where lies had taken up residence. Solomon is not being poetic here. He is being precise. Words carry weight, and we are responsible for how we use them.
James devotes nearly an entire chapter to the tongue for exactly this reason. The more we speak, he warns, the more opportunity we have to speak carelessly. And Solomon echoes it here. Those who love to talk will reap the consequences. Wisdom is not only about saying less. It is about choosing words that give life rather than take it. And that discipline is not natural. It has to be chosen, practiced, returned to again and again. Because the default setting of the tongue in a fallen world tends toward what tears down rather than what builds up.
“The Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged, for by himself he cannot help himself without belying the truth. He needs his brother solely because of Jesus Christ.”¹ — Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together
Bonhoeffer understood the second half of what Solomon is saying. Some friends destroy each other. But a real friend sticks closer than a brother. And what makes that friendship real is not proximity or shared history or good times. It is the willingness to speak truth when it would be easier to stay quiet, to show up when staying away would be simpler, to carry something of God’s word into a person’s life when they are too worn down to find it for themselves. That is the kind of friend Solomon is describing. And that is the kind of friend each of us is called to be.
So how are you using your words? Are you speaking life over the people closest to you? Are you the kind of friend who sticks close in the hard seasons, whose presence and words leave people stronger rather than smaller? The tongue can bring death or life. May we choose life, every time we open our mouths.
Reflection:
- Can you think of a time when someone’s words deeply hurt you, or brought you life? How did that shape you?
- What are some practical ways you can be more intentional with your words this week?
- Are you currently being the kind of friend who sticks closer than a brother? Where might God be calling you to grow?
Prayer:
Ask God to help you use your words to speak life, encouragement, and truth. Pray for wisdom to know when to speak and when to stay silent. Ask the Spirit to help you become a faithful friend whose presence and words reflect the love of Jesus.
Footnote:
¹ Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, trans. John W. Doberstein (New York: Harper and Row, 1954), 23.